8Aug

Reddit:r/Jokes板块高分笑话精选10条

时间: 2017-8-8 分类: 每日一笑 作者: 椿庭

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语言:   大陆 港澳 台湾

Reddit: r/Jokes板块高分笑话精选10条

 

Reddit:r/Jokes板块高分笑话精选10条

 

因为Reddit的Jokes板块的帖子标题大多都是笑话的一部分,所以翻译的时候会带上原贴标题。翻译格式参见第一条笑话。

 


 

1.

标题:”You’re telling me that I’m losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I’M BLACK?!”

标题:”你说什么?因为特朗普赢得了选举所以我就要下岗?为什么,难道就因为我是黑人?!

帖子内容:”Mister President, we’ve been over this…”

帖子内容:“(前)总统先生,我们谈过这个的……”

 

神回复

This just in: Trump evicts black family from home

快讯:特朗普将黑人一家扫地出门

MORE ON CNN

CNN将会为您带来持续报道

 


 

2.

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle’s ideas of getting America fit again.

看起来特朗普会继承米歇尔让美国人动起来的想法。

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on the morning.

因为他刚上任第一天就让成百上千的人走出办公室。

 

神回复

This is the most good natured Trump joke I’ve heared in over a year. Upvote for you!

这是我这年来听到的对特朗普最友好的笑话了!给你点赞!

 


 

3.

Why is EA the worst gaming company in America?

为什么EA是全美最差的游戏公司?

Because Ubisoft is in France.

因为育碧是法国的。

 

神回复

Additional punchlines can be purchased for $4.99, or you can buy the Season Pass for $49.99.

您可以花$4.99购买一个附加的笑点,或者你您也可以花$49.99购买季票。

 


 

4.

V

V

V

V

 

*Edit: seems like the ctrl key on my keyboard is not working

看来我键盘上的ctrl键坏了

(译注:讽刺笑话板块抄袭现象屡禁不止)

 


 

5.

The 2016 US Presidential Election

美国2016年总统大选

That’s it. That’s the entire fucking joke.

这就是了。整个大选就是他妈的笑话。

 


 

6.

Don’t Read If You’re A Trump Supporter

川普粉请移步

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.” Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?”

一个墨西哥男孩遇到了特朗普,他说:“我也想哪天成为(美国)总统”。川普回答:“你傻吗?你是不是弱智?你有脑子吗?你缺心眼吗?”

(译注:美国宪法规定总统竞选人必须为美国出生的公民)

The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”

小孩回答,“你知道吗,我改主意了。当选总统的条件也太多了。”

 


 

7.

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation suckes…

如果每次有超过40岁的人向我抱怨我们这代人多么糟糕时我都能得到1美元的话…

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

那我现在就能在被他们搞砸了的社会经济状况下买房。

 

神回复

it used to be nickel for every time… damned inflation

过去这个笑话说的还是5美分……通货膨胀真是闹不住啊

 


 

8.

A man walks into a bar…

一个男人走进了酒吧…

The bartender asks “Why the long face?”

酒保问他:“你今天怎么不开心?”

 

The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.”

那个男人说:“我发现我老婆有婚外情。我打算喝个天昏地暗,直到酒精中毒而死”。

 

The bartender looks shocked and says “I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself.”

酒保震惊地说:“对不起,但我不能让你自杀”。

 

The man asks “Well what would you do in my situation?”

男人反问他:“那你会怎么做?”

 

The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says “If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, I’d kill the guy.”

酒保鼓励了一下那个男人,并说:“如果我发现我老婆背着我偷情,我不会一个人喝闷酒,而是会去做掉那个小三。”

 

The man jumps up from his stool and shouts “That’s a great idea! Thanks!” and runs out of the bar.

男人激动地跳起来大喊:“这真是个好主意!谢谢!”说罢,他边冲出了酒吧。

 

A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.

几个小时过去了,见那个男人仍不出现,酒保开始担心他会不会犯傻。就在这时,那个男人脸上挂着微笑回来了。

 

“Did you kill the guy?” The bartender asks nervously.

“你去把那个小三干掉了?”酒保紧张地问。

 

“Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please.”

“没有!我睡了你的老婆。请给我一杯威士忌。”

 


 

9.

My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.

我的女朋友cos成了女警,并说我因被怀疑床上经验丰富而被逮捕。

After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

两分钟后,因为缺乏有效证据,我被无罪释放。

 

神回复

Sounds like you got off easy.

你出来的还真快。

 


 

10.

Did you hear about the Doctor on the United Flight?

你知不知道那个美联航航班上的医生?

[removed]

[该内容已被移除]


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Comments
已有 5 条评论
  1. Adagio

    欢迎新翻译

    8月15日 22:26来自iPhone 回复
  2. ncyp

    不懂8

    8月9日 01:04 回复
    • 椿庭

      这样那个酒保就会同意他自杀呀23333

      8月9日 13:232 回复
  3. 阿康

    9的情况是女友深感不满,你应该去医院看看、或者是吃威尔纲!

    8月8日 19:15来自iPhone 回复
  4. Alfreman

    6说得真66666

    8月8日 18:26 回复
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