20Mar

Reddit:糟糕的约会经历(五)

时间: 2017-3-20 分类: 奇葩事迹 作者: Enterprise

TAGS: ,

语言:   大陆 港澳 台湾

引用元:https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xd222/i_date_online_i_went_to_a_girls_house_for_the/


 

Reddit:糟糕的约会经历(五)

 

Reddit:糟糕的约会经历(五)

 

[–]b1gtym1n

I was 16 at the time and a girl from school had her friends tell me she liked me so I made plans to go the movies with her that weekend. My sister and her boyfriend were going to the movies as well and he had a truck and offered us to squeeze in and give us a ride.

那时我16岁,学校里有个妹子的朋友告诉我那个女孩喜欢我,所以我就打算那个周末约她出去看电影。我的姐姐也要和她男朋友一起去,所以她男朋友让我们一起挤一辆货车去。

 

He takes me to her house and her father answers the door. He is a dickwad off the bat, and is asking me a bunch of questions. We go outside and get in the truck and he comes running out screaming saying “NO WAY! THERES NO WAY YOU’RE RIDING IN THERE!”.

他把我带到她家,是她爸爸应的门。他是一个很直接的人,一上来就问了我一堆问题。我们出门上了车,她爸跑出来大喊

[没门,你们不能开这个出门]

 

It was really awkward and my sister said “well we will go home and get my dads car and then we will go”. He said ok and we went back to my house and my dad offered us a ride. We get there and are standing in line for the movies. and Then I hear someone yelling her name. We turn around and its her dad gesturing for her to go to him. She goes over there and he is telling her that he followed us and knows we didn’t go back and get the other car, and even after explaining for 15 minutes that my dad ended up giving us a ride, he stood there and watched us buy the tickets and walk inside before he left. I never asked her out again.

情况变得很尴尬,我姐说

[好吧,我们回去拿我爸的车,然后我们再去]

他爸同意了,我爸带我们去。我们去电影院排队。突然我听到有人喊她的名字。回头看,她爸在打手势叫她过去。她去了,她爸跟她说他一直跟着我们,确保我们没有在回去的时候上其他车。在解释了15分钟后她爸才愿意走。他在离开前他就一直站在那里看着我们买票进去。之后我再也没有邀她出去过。

 

TLDR; psycho dad followed me and date to movie

太长不看版:神经质父亲监视我和她女儿约会看电影

都有姐姐了还和其他女人约会

 

[–]mdlost1

Your not alone, my first date was with a firefighters daughter. My dad drove me and the girl to the movie theater. The whole time I’m thinking we were being followed but didn’t want to say anything. As we’re in line buying tickets I see her dad in the crowd giving me the I’m watching you signal. Creeped me out. End of that. No dating girls with scary dads.

>你不是一个人,我第一次约会的妹子的爸爸是个消防员。我爸带我们去电影院。我一直觉得我们被跟踪了但是我没有说出来。就在我们排队买票的时候她爸躲在人群里递给我一张纸条,上面写着我看着你的一举一动。真是吓到我了。再也不会和有这么吓人的爸爸的妹子约会了。

 

[deleted]

I had that happen to a girl on a date. We were at the end of dinner and suddenly her eyes got really wide and she bolted to the restroom in the middle of our conversation. I’ve been to Iraq and I remember that look. That’s the look of a person in the midst of an intense race for their dignity.

有次在约会的时候,那个妹子在快要吃完的时候眼睛突然张大,急忙跑向厕所。我去过伊拉克,我认得这个表情,只有在为尊严狂奔的时候人才会露出那样的表情。

 

I paid the check, gathered her things, and made sure I was in line of sight with the restroom. The second she walked out, I could tell she lost the race, but I was determined to save her dignity.

我结了账,拿好她的东西,确保可以看到洗手间。当她出来的时候,我知道她没跑赢,但我还是打算给她留点面子。

 

I offered her my coat, which was pretty long, saying that it would probably be warmer than hers and said I needed to smoke so my window would be down while driving if it didn’t bother her to much.

我给了她我的外套,那件衣服挺长的,至少应该比她的那件要暖和点,我要抽烟,所以我把窗户打下来了,如果这样不会麻烦到她的话。

 

We got to my car and she froze when I opened the door for her. I could almost see her spirit crumble when she said “I can’t sit in your car. I crapped my pants”. Just the way she said it made me chuckle. It was like she thought, “I’m owning this. I may have shit myself, but I’m not smellifying this car”.

到给她开门的时候她愣住了。当她说出她不能坐我的车,因为她拉在裤子上了的时候,我几乎都可以感觉她的精神都崩坏了。她当时大概想的是这是她的错,是她拉在裤子上的,但她不会把这辆车搞臭的。

 

I keep emergency ponchos in my car. I laid one down and drove her home with the window down.

我拿了个临时雨衣垫在我的车上,然后把车窗打下来载她回家

 

[–]Bliumchik

I have a lot of social anxiety issues, especially around touching, mostly due to lack thereof.

我有严重的社交恐惧症,尤其讨厌被碰,基本是因为一直很少被碰。

 

We’d both expressed interest in each other but I wasn’t sure it was worth the emotional effort, but then we were the only ones of our friends who showed up to a rock concert. Later I walked him home thinking, y’know, this is nice, I’m kind of into this, and then he tries to kiss me and I literally just panic and go stiff as a board and say “eep.”

我们双方都对彼此有好感,但是不确定是否该对此认真。一次摇滚音乐会里我们俩是认识的人之间唯一去的。之后我们一起走回家,想着这还不错,我开始喜欢这个了。他打算亲我,但我当时就变得十分恐慌,全身变得和板子一样硬

 

He backs off and is like “okay… nevermind?” and I just blurt out “Maybe try this again when I am drunker?” Face palms all round.

[噫…..]

他退后说

[好吧….没关系?]

我整张脸都变得苍白,直接脱口说

[或许在我醉了的时候再试试]

 

[–]asskinsMy boyfriend at the end of high school was a loner and had serious social anxiety issues. We thought we were desperately in love and conducted an extensive epistolary romance, but didn’t talk out loud about much and rarely went out.

我男朋友在高中快结束的时候都还是独来独往的,他有严重的社交恐惧症。我们以书信的方式交谈,并且十分爱慕对方,但我们不怎么聊天,也很少出去。

 

His favorite musical was coming to town, and I asked him if he wanted to go–and, in an effort to broaden our social horizons, double date with one of his closest friends and his girlfriend (my friend). He said yes. Because neither of us could drive, he also had to go to dinner with the other two beforehand and meet up with me at the show. I think he liked the show itself, but the situation was too much. BF shut down and wouldn’t talk to anyone including me, and even shrank from brushing up against me. When I got home, he called me crying and repeatedly apologized. I felt so utterly powerless to help. I feel bad that I wasn’t equipped to deal at the time.

他最喜欢的音乐剧要来城里表演了,如果他想去的话我就邀他一起去。同时为了扩展他的社交圈,我决定和他的密友和他女朋友(也是我朋友)一起双重约会。他同意了,因为我们俩都不会开车,而且他还要先和那两人见面吃饭然后再来会场见我。我觉得他会喜欢那场表演,然而情况并不如我想的那样。他一直都保持沉默,和谁都不说话,包括我,甚至缩起来以免碰到我。当我到家的时候,他打电话回来不停向我哭诉道歉。我当时觉得十分无力,为没有为这种事件做好准备感到难过。

tl;dr: social anxiety can wreak havoc

太长不看版:社交恐惧症真的会带来很大麻烦。

 

[–][deleted]As a guy who deals with social anxiety, you did what you needed to do. If you ever deal with something similar, and it’s worth it to you, simply staying with him until he gets to the point where he can rationalize his thoughts and being there to assure him that things are ok will help him tremendously. Reason makes no sense when we’re being irrational, and we know we are being irrational ourselves, it just takes some time to get through it.

>对于一个处理过这个症状的人来说,你觉得已经做了你该做的了。如果你之前遇到过类似的事的话,或许这个可以帮助你。就是呆在他边上直到他的意识回来了,确保他一切都好,这样对他的帮助很大。在我们不讲理的时候理智是没有意义的,但我们知道会变得这样,只是需要花些时间让意识回来。

的确是这样,会突然变得非常奇怪,情绪也会变得很激动,最好的处理方法就是陪在她身边等到她冷静下来。

 


作为上个星期没更再加上这次比较少的补偿,我讲一个我自己的吧。我第一次也是最糟糕的约会是和一个交换生妹子,德国人,红发,脸上有非常可爱的雀斑,长得特别好看,祖上是挪威的。之前去德国的时候有过接触,所以想在她来中国的时候可以加深一点关系,毕竟以后很难再见了。准确来说那次约会都很难说得上是约会,妹子是我以问些东西的条件的情况下约出来的,也有同行的人在。虽然我也出来了,但是坐在咖啡店的时候我却因为害羞一句话也说不出来,耳朵和脸也是通红的,当时的情况不知道有多尴尬了,感觉快要死了,约会也在尴尬的一个小时后结束了。之后也有很多和她见面的机会,但是我都不敢上去攀谈。最后也只能不了了之。之后心里也一直不是滋味,毕竟是唯一一个拿过照片做过待机画面的妹子,所以就开始学习和妹子的聊天方法,玩gal,然后就成了一个死宅。后面发现那个妹子好像比较喜欢会做饭的男孩子,我个人觉得我的手艺还是可以的。现在想想也是可惜,如果当时能更擅长和女生相处就好了。(‘;ω;´)

总之这个帖子也差不多在这里结束了,没有什么特别有趣的东西值得翻了,接下来我会尽量找些温情点的东西来翻得。

 

(lu:借帖请个假,今天的长篇不更新了,事情有点多有点疲劳,想休息下,给追更的朋友道声歉_(:3 」∠)_)


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Comments
已有 8 条评论 新浪微博
  1. ( º﹃º )

    最後居然還加菜ww好吃!
    感謝翻譯,也感謝後面的分享。沒約過會的我只能看看類似的帖子來安慰安慰自己了QAQ

    4月8日 13:11来自移动端1 回复
  2. ringo

    我有个高中同学、长得挺帅的、之前还一起去过漫展玩、看着很温柔老实、后来知道他很喜欢约x的时候、就不怎么聊天了…

    3月22日 21:16来自iPhone 回复
  3. Cupcakewow

    玩了gal之後就有很多老婆啦
    要甚麼女朋友(滑稽

    3月21日 23:35来自移动端 回复
  4. Devilsarms

    因为喜欢的妹子变宅真少见……

    3月21日 22:58来自iPhone 回复
  5. 草不可避

    玩gal來學習和妹子聊天的方法好像有哪裡不對wwwwww

    3月21日 16:00来自移动端 回复
  6. 涸欢

    翻译君好萌啊~喵~

    3月21日 03:13来自iPhone 回复
  7. 这就是翻译君你成为死宅的原因啊……!

    3月21日 02:47来自新浪微博 回复
  8. uudream

    安慰一下翻译君~ 以后还有机会哒哈哈哈哈

    3月20日 22:52来自移动端 回复
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