16Feb

reddit:糟糕的约会经历(一)

时间: 2017-2-16 分类: 奇葩事迹, 每日一笑 作者: Enterprise

TAGS: , ,

语言:   大陆 港澳 台湾

引用元:https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xd222/i_date_online_i_went_to_a_girls_house_for_the/


 

Reddit:糟糕的约会经历(一)

 

reddit:糟糕的约会经历(一)

 

[-]cupcak3bak3r

I met a guy who said he wanted to make me dinner, 19yo me thought this was a sweet idea. When we got to his house I had to pee. I used his bathroom and when I came out he was naked on the couch and said, “Dinner’s served!” I told him I wasn’t hungry anymore and left.

我遇到一个人说想做饭给我吃,十九岁的我觉得那是个甜美的主意。当我到他家的时候我突然想去趟洗手间。当我从洗手间出来后,发现他在沙发上一丝不挂并且说道:“晚餐好了!”我告诉他我不饿了然后一走了之

 

[-]watersign

>now THAT is fucking funny. im going to try that one day.

这真的太有趣了。我下次也要试下。

 

[-]cupcak3bak3r

>haha be careful, if I would have had my pepper spray on me, I wouldn’t have ran out as quickly!

哈哈,小心点。如果我带了胡椒喷雾的话,我就不会再跑的那么快了。

 

[-]ipossessfetishes

>I wonder if this is what guys think of when I volunteer to cook dinner for them…

我在想当我自愿帮他们做晚饭的时候她们是不是也这样想的。

 

[-]bouffanthairdo

>>yes

没错。

 

[-]Berym

>Sheesh, he could have put some donuts or pineapple rings on his wang or something, class it up a bit.

天哪,其实他可以把甜甜圈或是菠萝圈套在他的小丁丁或是什么地方,然后再排好来。

Guys like that give us all a bad name.

这样的人在我们圈里名声都不好。

 

[-][deleted]

Went to a restaurant with a guy I met online. He seemed like a really good guy and we actually hit it off really well. We were sharing a dessert and having a nice time, until his fiancee came over and dumped a drink all over him. She started screaming about how she loved him and how she couldn’t believe he’d gone behind her back. She was out to dinner with her mother at the same restaurant, apparently their plans had changed and he had no clue she would even be in town. He left me at the table, running out after her and her mother, who was screaming profanities at me from across the restaurant. I was nearly in tears trying to explain to the waiter (and really anyone who would listen, they had made quite a scene) that I had NO idea that he was engaged. And then, because he had left, I got stuck with the bill.

我和一个在网上认识的人出去吃饭。他看起来像是个好人,而且我们之间也挺合得来的。就当我们共享甜点享受美好时光的时候,他的未婚妻过来往他身上浇了杯饮料。她开始叫喊着她是多么的爱他,多么不相信他会在她背后偷吃。她和她的妈妈来也来到同一家餐厅吃饭,明显是因为她们原先的计划变了,所以他才会完全不知道她会在市里。他把我留着位置上跑出去追他的未婚妻和丈母娘,她们都在餐厅外面粗鲁地骂我。那时我带着哭腔向服务员(和所有当时在场听到的顾客)解释我根本不知道他订婚了。之后,因为他跑了,我还得买单。

After the whole incident, he tried to go out with me again. He claimed they had broken up. I managed to find him on facebook and learned that they were still together, so I sent her a message with a screenshot of the text where he had asked me out again. I told her I was really sorry that she was dating such a scumbag, and that she could do better.

在这件事之后,他还想约我出去,他说他们分了。我试着去找他的脸书,然后发现他们还在一起。所以我就把那个约我出去的短信截了屏发给那个未婚妻。我跟她说我对你和那个渣男交往感到抱歉,她可以找个更好的。

So she and I ended up talking, and now we’ve actually become casual friends and go out to lunch on occasion. And he’s still a scumbag with an active OKcupid.

之后我们就结束了对话,现在我们成了关系还凑合的朋友,有时候会出去吃饭。而他还是个活跃在Okcupid(一个国外的约会软件)的渣男。

(如果和纱是男孩子的话就好了。)

 

[-]buttcheeky

>I’m really glad you guys became friends. I can’t stand it when people blame the other person rather than who they’re dating, especially when they had no idea that the guy/girl was in a relationship already.

我真高兴你们成了朋友。我无法忍受别人责怪其他人而不是那个出轨的,尤其是那另一个人还不知道那个男或女的已经有对象了。

 

[-]TheShader

>>Exactly. Unless the person obviously knows you two are an item(Such as a close friend of yours or your SO), then there’s no reason to believe that person even knew.

没错,除非那个人已经知道那两个已经是一对了(比如像是认识的朋友之类的),不然没有办法相信那个人已经知道了。

 

[-]tacomanmcjab

>I awwed at that you guys are now friends.

我很怀疑你们竟然成了朋友

 

[-][deleted]

>>Hey, she’s a nice girl and we have similar tastes (obviously). We laugh about the crazy way we met now. And I’m happy to report that she has found herself a wonderful guy.

嘿,她是个好女孩而且我们的胃口差不多(很明显)。我们都觉得那个觉得那个疯狂的相遇好笑。而且她已经找到了一个很棒的人了。

 

[-]tacomanmcjab

>>>Good for her! Some people.. ಠ_ಠ

真好!而某人…ಠ_ಠ

 

[-]flying_monkies

Second date, met her at the restaurant and didn’t realize I’d left my wallet at home.

在第二次约会的时候,和她在餐厅约会但是把钱包忘在家里了。

She says the only reason she agreed to a third date was that I made multiple offers to drive home (about a 30 minute round trip) to get it.

她说只有我开车回家去拿(大概来回30分钟)才愿意和我继续约会。

Edit: FML, ok, see if I can put an update in right this time…

编辑:真是日了了,好吧,看下这次我能不能把事情讲清楚。(编辑Edit的意思是指下面的文字是上面已经发出来之后补加的)

For those of you saying she was a money grubbing bitch: I invited her out to lunch. No expectation of her paying.

你们都说她是拜金女:其实是我约她出来的。不打算让她付钱。

When I arrived, I realized I didn’t have my wallet with me. Explained to her that I could drive home to get it if she didn’t mind waiting for me to get back. She offered to pay at that point. It was later I found out about guys asking her out in the past then waiting until the bill arrives and saying “you got this, right” or asking her to split the check.

当我到了,我发现我没带钱包。跟她解释说如果她不介意在这等的话我可以回家去拿。当时她说她愿意付。之后我才知道过去有些人邀她出去直到把账单拿过来之后才说“你来付”或是AA制。

Were there other dates: Yep, we dated for about a month when she called me at 11 p.m. one night freaking out. She lived in a second floor apartment and her cat had gone out on her balcony, then gone to the neighbors balcony. Neighbor was in the Navy and wasn’t around and the damn cat wouldn’t come back over to her. Drove the half hour to her apartment, pulled a Spiderman routine by going over the balcony railing then climbing onto the neighbors balcony, caught the cat, passed it over to her, climbed back then headed home. She later told me she knew I was a keeper at that point.

还有次约会:没错,我们交往了大概一个月。有天晚上11点打电话给我把我叫出来。她住在公寓的二楼,她的跑出了阳台。她那个海军邻居不在附近,而她的猫也不愿回来。开了半个小时的车去她公寓,像蜘蛛侠那样从这边阳台荡到邻居的阳台,抓住她的猫,递给她,在荡回来,然后回家。她之后告诉我那时她觉得我就是她的白马王子。

We were married in October of the next year and will be celebrating our 11th anniversary this year.

然后我们在次年十月结婚,而且我们会在今年庆祝第11个结婚纪念日。

 

[-]flamin_sheep

>Shit dude you made me think she dumped you when you wrote, “we dated for about a month when she called me at 11..” lol

该死,你一开始让我觉得她已经把你甩了,“我们约会了大概一个月”。233

Glad that was a happy ending :)

真高兴这是个好结局。:)

 

[-]jabberworx

>Saving a chicks cat is probably the fastest way to getting her to love you forever.

给妹子救猫应该是捕获妹子芳心的最快方法了。

>>Granted I as a straight hetrosexual dude would at least blow someone who saved my cat (if it came to such a situation requiring saving).

我一个直的可以保证,如果有人救了我的猫的话,我可以帮他口(如果要求的话)。

 

[-]Murrabbit

>I don’t know, the whole cat thing sound suspicious to me. Her cat hops over to the next balcony? Well then he can hop back, how did she discover the cat was “trapped” it didn’t come when she called? That just isn’t how cats operate!

不懂,这个猫太奇怪了。既然她的猫可以跳过去,那猫也可以跳回来。她是如何认定猫被“困”在那里了。叫猫它不过来?猫不会这样啊!

 

[-]Luminoit

>>It wasn’t trapped. It’s a cat. It doesn’t listen to orders

不是困住了。是猫,它不听话。

 

[-]Gordon2108

>Why would asking to split the check be bad? Just because a person has a vagina doesn’t mean they get everything for free. It’s nice to do, but shouldn’t be expected.

为什么AA制会很糟糕?有小妹妹不代表她们干什么都是免费的。请客这么做很好,但不应该如此指望。

 

[-]flying_monkies

>>Agreed. If you set the expectation of splitting the check before the check arrives.

同意。如果在结帐前讲好AA制的话。

If you wait until the check shows up before confirming that you’re splitting the check, you deserve the scorn the other person heaps upon you.

如果你等到结账了才说AA制,你活该被别人看不起。

 


米娜桑,不知道大家喜不喜欢这个帖子的内容。因为这个帖子是四年前的了,有趣的东西很多,比如约炮约到病娇之类的。因为文化差异,有些脑回路之类的有些不同,所以一些地方我会尽量本土化的,有什么错误的欢迎指出。


↓喜欢我们的文章请您与朋友分享


------------------------------------看趣闻需要你的帮助,详情------------------------------------

相关文章:

Comments
已有 6 条评论 新浪微博
  1. ringo

    有趣的嘛

    2月19日 03:58来自iPhone 回复
  2. Devilsarms

    这帖子很有趣啊~

    2月17日 08:21来自iPhone2 回复
  3. 涸欢

    新翻译好~

    2月17日 05:15 回复
  4. Cupcakewow

    約砲約到病嬌,這個劇情想想就帶感

    2月17日 02:13来自移动端1 回复
  5. 匿名

    辛苦了

    2月16日 23:18来自Windows Phone 回复
  6. ppp

    第一个好尴尬啊

    2月16日 22:00来自移动端 回复
返回顶部