I don’t have anything to do. Will you listen to my love story?
“或许 / 这已经是最好安排 ”
“用再多话语 / 只会让彼此看不见未来 ”
“最后 / 我用微笑将悲伤挟带 ”
“但你转身 / 为什么我就无法再忍耐 ”
心華 -《Unrequited Love》 by 泡芙P yoyo帮尼 dav et al.
164： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:03:49.33 ID:BeDcEal20
Once I got home, I kept staring at my cell phone, waiting for a call or a message from CanBadge. There was none.
I even sent him an e-mail saying “Sorry I said something weird today!”. But there was still no call or e-mail the next day and the day after that.
My confession had been turned down. It never stood a chance in the first place.
I didn’t cry as much when I broke up with the guys I’d been dating until then. With them, I was like “Oh well, shit happens”. I wasn’t the type to get very attached anyway. Or so I thought.
I was shocked because I thought I was one of those cool indifferent people.
Although I feel a bit bad for my past boyfriends, it made me realize I’d never actually loved them.
In other words, it was the first time I really fell in love with someone.
I thought to myself, “So this is how it feels like to be in love with someone.”
Then I thought, “If I’d known how it feels like, I’d have preferred not to fall in love in the first placewwwwww”.
At the age of 21, I fell in love with someone for the first time and got my heart broken at the same time.
I cried. I cried all night and drank alcohol I couldn’t stomach and cried again.
166： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:05:21.15 ID:o0jPvmjX0
Wait, this isn’t… the end,… is it?
168： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:08:43.80 ID:BeDcEal20
From where I live, the only way to get to Akihabara is to take the Hibiya subway line and get off at that station, so I did my best not to pass by the park.
But then again, I wanted to see CanBadge again because I still wanted us to stay friends.
It may seem contradictory, but I wanted to see him and not see him at the same time.
I hated him as much as I missed him.
Even though I avoided the park like a pest, I still caught myself looking for CanBadge in the stores in Akihabarawwww
Then, two weeks later, I guess, assuming the dates in my diary are correct… I met him again.
Not CanBadge though, it was the Prez.
And not in Akihabara, it was in Shibuya. I went into Starbucks and the Prez was there.
I was like “Oh shit!” and tried to take a seat quickly somewhere far from him, but I guess the Prez noticed me because he started waving to me, shouting “Ohhh!!” in a voice so loud that it resounded through the whole building.
172： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:14:09.38 ID:BeDcEal20
Unable to just ignore him, I walked over to him with a really forced smile on my face.
I happened to be wearing clothes that were a bit showy on that day because of my job (I’m not in the night entertainment business thoughwwww), so the Prez and me sitting next to each other must have looked like a company president and a hostess on a datewwww
(I’d forgotten to mention that the Prez is actually the president of a company.)
I don’t remember much of our conversation, but I think all we talked about was something harmless like when we went to Akihabara last.
That is, until the Prez shouted “AHHHHHH!!” all of a sudden (man, this guy’s got a loud voice) and started glaring at me because he’d apparently remembered something.
“You’ve fallen in love with our leader, haven’t you?”
I thought to myself, “CanBadge, you goddamn tattletale!!!!!!!”, but since there was no use in denying it anymore, I nodded honestly.
174： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:20:01.63 ID:BeDcEal20
“You can’t make a move on him. We’re in a no-girlfriend league, y’know?wwwwww”
“But CanBadge said he’s not a member of such a league!”
“You’re lyingwwwww There’s no way our leader would say something like that, y’know?wwwww”
His “y’know” was pissing me off for some reason.
“The leader’s shut himself out.”
“He says he’s too scared.”
I got extremely worried wondering if he got some sort of sickness or something, but according to the Prez’ explanation, CanBadge totally panicked when I confessed my love to him and didn’t know what to do anymore.
He hadn’t shut himself in his room like one would think, however, but had shut himself out of Akihabara (I didn’t really get it either). The way I understood the Prez, CanBadge was scared of running into me in Akihabara because he wouldn’t know what to say to me.
I wish I had an interpreter who translates the stuff the Prez says into Japanese so I could understand him.
176： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:25:49.32 ID:BeDcEal20
“We otaku don’t need any love relationships.”
the Prez said full of confidence.
↑ I bet, he thought it was a really cool thing to say when he said it, but nope, it wasn’t cool at all.
Anyways, having heard why CanBadge was avoiding me, I figured I ought to try contacting him one more time.
But fearing that he might not reply if I sent an e-mail, I decided to give him a call instead.
He hung up as soon as he noticed it was me though.
I thought to myself, “How dare he avoid me in such an obvious way!!?”, but then figured anyone would be perplexed if your friend confessed their love to you all of a sudden.
Two weeks had passed since my confession. Even though my wounds were still deep, I’d calmed down enough to be able to think about it a bit more calmly.
So I sent CanBadge a mail that went like “I’m going to Akihabara this week. Shall we go to that maid cafe again? It’ll be on me too since you paid the bill last time.”.
If he didn’t reply, then that would be fine too. But I guess I was really hoping he’d reply.
175： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:21:25.34 ID:JfuzZ3qW0
The Prez is such a nasty characterw
178： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:32:20.88 ID:BeDcEal20
Reading >>175 made me remember something. The people I’ve met in Akihabara all have their own very distinct and unique character for some reason.
They all call each other by nicknames and some even described themselves as tsundere themselves. (Though I guess tsundere aren’t that unique.)
You could take the Prez & his crew and directly turn them into manga characters. That’s how interesting and comical their personalities are. I wonder if it’s only a thing in Akihabara.
On the following Friday, I got an e-mail in the evening. From an unknown address. I was like “Who the hell?” at first, but it was one of CanBadge’s friends. I remembered how we once exchanged addresses when I borrowed a game from him. I was like “Ahh, it’s that guy…”.
The e-mail was just a one-liner.
“CanBadge can’t come.”
is all it said.
As you can probably imagine, I snapped.
I was like “I got it already! I’m sorry I said I love you! I’m very sorry, but why do you have to go this far to avoid me!?
If you’re gonna turn me down, at least do it yourself! The hell are you using your friend for!?
And how dare you tell the Prez about my confession!!!??”. All the anger I’d bottled up inside me until then suddenly burst out and I felt like shouting “AAAAHHHHH!!!”.
I guess, you’d normally think “What a coward!” and stop liking him, but I didn’t.
Instead, I wrote to CanBadge “We gotta talk. You better fucking come.” and went to sleep, still irritated as hell.
192： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:23:44.61 ID:IuIgaYEJO
Let’s try to guess what will happen next.
1 and CanBadge meet again in Akihabara.
…no idea what will happen after thatww
199： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:41:33.92 ID:BeDcEal20
On the next day, a Saturday, I headed to Akihabara. I’d forgotten to tell him what time to meet, but since we usually met up at 4pm anyway, I thought why bother and just went there at about 4pm.
I was somehow relieved to see CanBadge in a corner of the park.
Feeling relieved and thinking “Yes! It’s CanBadge!!!wwww” at the same time, I’d cheered up in an instantwwww
I called out to CanBadge and he walked over to me with his eyes glued to the ground. He said “It’s been a while.” and went silent. Then he kept mumbling something incomprehensible to himself. There was something obviously wrong with himwwwww
Apparently, he’d spent the whole afternoon looking for me because he didn’t know what time I wanted to meet himwwwwww He should’ve just asked me in an e-mail thoughwwwww
I had a whole bunch of things I wanted to tell him, but I figured I should apologize first.
“Sorry I said something stupid and made you feel uncomfortable.”
“You can forget about what I said, okay?”
shouted CanBadge loudly all of a sudden, even though he was acting all flustered moments before. What kind of reaction is that anyway?
“I can forget about it!? You’re telling me to forget about it!?”
Wow, CanBadge, calm down.
He seemed quite frantic and I didn’t really understand what was making him panic that much.
200： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:43:09.14 ID:BeDcEal20
“But I can’t forget about it just like that!!!”
I was getting yelled at by CanBadge who’d gotten really mad all of a sudden. “I think it wouldn’t be right to forget it!”, he said, breathing heavily through his nose.
“Ahh… Ahh… ……but maybe I should forget it after all?”
I felt like shouting “Make up your mind!!!” in my mind, but before I knew it, I’d actually shouted it out loud.
I still remember pretty clearly how our conversation went after that and I’d love to write it out, but I can’t because it was mostly CanBadge mumbling incomprehensible stuffwwwww
Let me post a summary instead:
- Having been confessed to for the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do anymore.
- He got scared because girls tell lies all the time and he doesn’t know how to date a girl anyway.
- Having never been in a relationship to start with, he didn’t know what to do anymore.
That about sums it up.
202： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:43:47.64 ID:BeDcEal20
He seriously panicked and didn’t know what to do anymore. That’s basically the reason why he told the Prez about my confession and why he didn’t try to contact me at all.
Later, he apologized to me for everything.
“I was practically at the verge of death the past two weeks because you suddenly said you love me.”
Why the hell would you die because someone confessed their feelings for you?wwwwwwww
“I couldn’t ask for advice on 2ch either because I was scared that they’d just go ‘Yeah, right, in your dreamswwwwww’…”
“…Also, I told you that there is no League of Voluntarily Single Gentlemen, but actually there is.”
So there is one!
“I lied back then.”
“I don’t know.”
As soon as he’d said that, he sat down and went silent.
CanBadge might have told me more about how he sufferedw, but this is about all I remember.
203： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:44:42.50 ID:BeDcEal20
As it turns out, he even asked his colleagues for advice.
Train Man was very popular back then and Akiba otaku were suddenly getting a lot of attention. His colleagues apparently told him “You sure she isn’t just pulling your leg or something?wwwww”.
Anyways, I apologized for making him worry so much, asked him to stay friends with me just like we were before the whole confession thing and then went home.
When he said “I won’t forget it after all!” at the end, I knew he was back to the usual CanBadge.
Oh yeah, I remembered something about the first time we met. CanBadge called out to me on that day because he thought that Gabrin was chatting me up and that he could use the opportunity to talk to a girl.
I noticed he’s the kind of guy that’s extremely cheerful and easy to get along with at first, but pulls back as soon as you make a move on him.
That’s probably why he panicked so much when I confessed my feelings to him. I’m just guessing though.
Then, about a month passed without anything noteworthy happeningwwww We’d gone back to our usual meeting-in-Akihabara-on-Saturdays-and-talking-in-that-park kind of relationship.
Even if it might take a while until I’d be able to fall in love again, I thought I’d somehow hang in there.
I’d almost given up on CanBadge too.
Then came an extremely cold winter and with it the Winter Comiket.
One day, I ran into CanBadge at the Becker’s Burgers & Sandwiches in Akihabara. I walked right over to him because it was kinda unusual to meet him outside of that park.
When I tapped him on the shoulder, he started acting strangely and dropped the magazine he was reading.
It was that men’s fashion magazine called “MEN’S NON-NO”.
204： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:45:46.25 ID:BeDcEal20
I thought to myself, “What the hell is he reading?”.
Just when I was thinking “It’s not like CanBadge to read a fashion magazine…”, he said “This is Gabrin’s magazine! He forgot it!”, as if trying to justify himself.
Later, I found out that he was actually starting to get a little interested in fashion around that time.
He changed his hairstyle and the way he dressed too. He started wearing more fashionable clothes additionally to that one good suit of his.
“You’ve gotten kinda handsome lately, haven’t you, CanBadge?”
“Oh, come on. Isn’t it, like, normal for a guy?wwww”
Normal guys don’t put can badges with anime characters on them on their tote bags.
When I said “I like it. Keep it up!”, he smiled at me shyly. I was kinda happy.
But that happiness didn’t last long as the Prez quickly brought me back down to earth again.
I ran into the Prez at the store I bought the Winter Comiket pamphlet from.
One thing led to another and we ended up having lunch together. I wanted to say no at first, but when the Prez said we’d go to a new maid cafe, I got curious and gave in.
207： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:46:50.71 ID:BeDcEal20
“We expelled the leader.”
the Prez suddenly said on the way to the cafe.
I asked, “Expelled from where?”, and he answered, “From our League of Voluntarily Single Gentlemen.”.
My heart skipped a beat.
I was wondering if he’d changed his mind. Hoping he’d fallen in love with me or something.
Desperately trying to keep my lips from forming a wide smile, I asked him “Why?”.
“Because he said he got himself a girlfriend.” he said.
215： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:55:40.92 ID:BeDcEal20
I couldn’t believe that he’d went and gotten himself a girlfriend. I mean, he only turned me down because “Nerine is superior”. Though he didn’t really phrase it like thatwww
I was like “He told me he doesn’t know how to date a girl, but now he’s dating one!? Why?”
All I could think was “Why? Why!?”. I think I had tears in my eyes when I asked the Prez “Are you sure about that?”www
“Of course. I heard it from the leader himself. He was like ‘Sorry, guyswwwww’.”
I couldn’t stop wondering where the heck in Japan he was able to find a 3D version of Nerine.
I felt like I had understood why he was reading something fashionable like “MEN’S NON-NO”.
I was so shocked my mouth fell open.
I was speechless.
216： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 17:57:53.93 ID:DMEuIL23O
Pfffww What an irresponsible leaderwwwwww
217： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:01:48.45 ID:BeDcEal20
When I passed by the park on my way home, CanBadge was sitting there like always. Seeing how he seemed to be freezing in the cold, I couldn’t ignore him and said “Hey!” to him.
CanBadge seemed like his usual self, almost as if nothing had changed. I figured I’d just ask him about it.
I felt like asking him,
“So, where did you find a Nerine?”.
But I couldn’t.
If I asked him… and he told me all about it, I figured I wouldn’t be able to recover from the shock. I wasn’t trying to avert my eyes from the truth or something, but I was just so scared of hearing the words “I got a girlfriend.” from his mouth.
On an unrelated note, I was addicted to the eroge “Night Shift Nurses” back then.
220： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:07:01.54 ID:8LRiFZnK0
Nightwww Shiftwww Nurseswww
219： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:06:28.74 ID:BeDcEal20
I’d completely spaced out. The Prez told me later I looked like my soul had been sucked out thenwwwww
On one hand, I was surprised, thinking “So he can fall in love with a 3D girl now!?”, but on the other hand, the hopelessly optimistic side of me couldn’t help but think “I might still have a chance then!”.
When I once asked CanBadge what type of girl he likes, he said “A younger sister (not related by blood)”. I told him “No, I mean, in real life.” and he said “Then there is none.”.
In any case, I still hadn’t obtained any information on CanBadge’s girlfriend when December came.
230： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:27:58.26 ID:pMKcE9Qg0
Why do I feel like >>1 is the subject of a vast conspiracy?
222： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:10:39.01 ID:BeDcEal20
The Christmas shopping season reminded me of something: I still hadn’t said thanks to Gabrin!
I know, it sure took longwwwww I decided to go to his store again with my little brother. Then I remembered how CanBadge had told me the store had moved to a different location, so I looked up the new address in the Internet.
But the address hadn’t changed.
I was like “?????”, but figured they had to cancel the move for some reason. But I didn’t think much into it at that moment.
And so, my brother and I headed to the store on a holiday that week.
225： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:15:41.87 ID:pMKcE9Qg0
I don’t know why, but >>1 seems like a pathetic person…
224： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:12:31.20 ID:DMEuIL23O
Huh? Why do I feel like we’re heading to a happy ending…?
234： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:33:25.85 ID:JfuzZ3qW0
Seriously now…? Didn’t see that one coming!
226： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:18:09.56 ID:BeDcEal20
We entered the store and were immediately greeted by Gabrin.
I recognized him right away, but Gabrin made a face like “Who were you again?”. When I said “Err… business card… in Akihabara…”, he finally seemed to remember me.
“Thanks for coming.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“You’re Sayuki, aren’t you?”
“Huh!? Wasn’t your name Sayuki?”
“No, I’m XXX…”
Gabrin then said “Oh well, take your time.” to my brother.
227： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:21:50.76 ID:BeDcEal20
I had no idea who he’d mistaken me for, but I didn’t really care.
When I told him I’d heard that the store would get moved, he said that the move had been postponed to sometime next year and that they’d send flyers around with the new address then.
Just when I was getting irritated at my little brother for taking too long with his shopping because I wanted to go home quickly and play a hentai game…
an e-mail from CanBadge arrived.
It said something along the lines of “Are you at Gabrin’s place?”.
I replied “Yeah.”, but didn’t get any other e-mails from him after that. It was a bit strange since he normally doesn’t write any pointless e-mails.
Though I guess e-mails about anime are kinda pointless toowwww
229： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:26:56.77 ID:DMEuIL23O
I think I smell a web of lies.
232： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:30:48.20 ID:JuYlFARXO
There seem to be all kinds of foreshadowing…
235： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:35:21.83 ID:WCN0RYIS0
I guess >>1′s confession gave CanBadge the confidence to get himself a girlfriend……
I feel bad for >>1 now.
237： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:37:30.88 ID:tqiqGy+XO
I don’t care how, I just want this to have a happy ending.
239： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 18:45:04.35 ID:pNQ7wlasO
When did all this happen?
When was Train Man again?