I don’t have anything to do. Will you listen to my love story?
洛天依 -《没有资格幸福》 by 鸣樱 dav et al.
76： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:14:21.38 ID:BeDcEal20
You might be wondering about what I liked about CanBadge. He was always fooling around and frankly, he wasn’t very handsome eitherwww, but I loved that happy cheerful expression he got whenever he talked about something he liked.
Sometimes he’d get carried away and go off the deep end though. But love sure is a scary thingwww Even the most cringeworthy guy in town turns into Mr. Perfect on a white horse as soon as you realize you love himwww
Anyways, we decided to go shopping together in Akihabara that day.
So we headed to K-BOOKS to look for doujinshi. When I left the store and walked over to CanBadge who’d finished earlier and was waiting for me outside, I found him talking to his friends.
One thing I remember clearly is that one of his friends was a famous otaku I’d seen on TV once.
His friends saw me and greeted me in a very unfriendly manner.
It was as if they were trying to say “Go away, we don’t wanna have a woman near uswww”. Or maybe it was just me being paranoid.
Canbadge said “Give me a minute.”, so I waited a few steps behind him, while his friends were like “Who’s that?”.
“She’s a friend. Just a friendwww”
“You sure she’s not your girlfriend, leader?wwww”
“No way, she’s notwwww”
is what they were saying IIRC.
77： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:15:37.14 ID:BeDcEal20
There I was, feeling left out and bored. Plus, they were talking about a game I liked, so I’d have loved to join them.
“He could have at least introduced me to them.”, I thought to myself.
You know, I think, at that point, I was totally feeling like I’d already become CanBadge’s girlfriend or somethingwwww Even though I hadn’t even told him how I feel yetwwwwwwww Maybe it was because I was sure that I was the only woman CanBadge knowswwwwwww
But my overly great confidence was smashed to pieces only moments later.
It was something one of his friends said.
“Who needs a 3D girlfriend anyway?wwwwww”
78： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:16:10.46 ID:BeDcEal20
I was like “Eh!?” and looked over to CanBadge, but he was nodding his head in agreement.
“Yeah, I don’t need a 3D onewwwwww”
“I want a 2D one”, CanBadge said with that bright smile on his face that I loved so much. He seemed to mean it.
“I want Nerine from Shuffle to be my girlfriend.”
A 3DPD girl like me didn’t stand a chance.
But hey, it’s normal to say dumb stuff in front of your friends. He can’t be completely indifferent to 3D… is what I wanted to believe, so I asked him about it on the way home.
81： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:20:13.51 ID:BeDcEal20
“Were you serious when you said you’re not interested in 3D girls?wwww”
I tried to ask in a nonchalant way, but I bet you could hear the panic in my voicewwww
I was so shocked by his nonchalant answer that my mind went completely numb for a while.
83： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:23:18.50 ID:BeDcEal20
“Th-Then, then you’ve never had a girlfriend?”
↑ I was so frantic, I think I seriously started stutteringwww
“Nope. I never wanted one anyway.”
“You really don’t want one at all?”
“Nopewwww It’d be a waste of money.”
“You’re 100% sure you don’t want one?”
“No, sir, I don’t want one.” ← I still remember clearly that he said this with a fake foreign accent.
86： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:25:33.41 ID:BeDcEal20
I was like “You can’t be serious!”.
If I were to describe how I felt, I’d compare it to how Samus must have felt when I made her march into the last boss room with almost no energy left. (I love Metroid Prime.)
Like “Can’t you hear that annoying sound? It’s telling you you’re about to die!”. Guess it’s a bad comparison.
Everything went white as my confidence shattered into a thousand pieces.
88： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:29:07.82 ID:BeDcEal20
Just think about it! He wants a 2D girlfriend! It’s Nerine he wants! Besides, I prefer Rimu over Nerine.
Even if I wore a ribbon in my hair, I wouldn’t be able to turn into Nerine! Nerine isn’t even human to begin withwwwwwww
I started crying. Before I knew it, tears were falling down my face.
CanBadge saw it and looked at me like “EH!?”. I didn’t notice I was crying until I saw that look on his face.
90： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:32:33.32 ID:DMEuIL23O
Why is this so moe?
91： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:32:39.58 ID:BeDcEal20
I said “It’s nothing.” and went home as if I was running from him.
Back at home, I peeled off the Shuffle stickers in front of my PC, crumbled them up and burned them with a lighterwwwwww
Then I went to 2ch and started a thread in the romance board.
I still haven’t forgotten its titlewwwww It was “I FUCKING HATE 2D!”wwwww It died after only a few posts thoughwwwww
94： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:35:52.65 ID:BeDcEal20
One of the few posts in the thread said something along the lines of “He must have been lying when he said he isn’t interested in 3D girls! He’s just scared of having a relationship!”.
It gave me some hope back too. But as usual, I was too naivewwww
Immediately, someone else replied with “No, there are people who really aren’t interested in 3D girls. I, for one, am not interested in 3DPD.”. Posts saying “What the hell are you doing here on the romance board then?wwwwww” quickly followed thoughwwwwww
96： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:38:31.85 ID:BeDcEal20
That night, I got an e-mail from CanBadge.
It said “Mahoraba is hilariouswwwww”.
I deleted it.
I know I was being irrational. I know I’d just been getting carried away by myself. But I can only say this because I can look at it objectively now. Back then, I didn’t have the patience and energy left to look at it that way.
All I could do was act like it was all his fault and get pissed at myself for falling in love with CanBadge, for falling in love with a damn otaku like him!!!!!wwww
99： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:42:57.50 ID:DMEuIL23O
Can’t you see that CanBadge’s otaku e-mails are just his way of showing his concern for you?
100： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:44:07.98 ID:pMKcE9Qg0
98： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:41:39.91 ID:BeDcEal20
After that, I stopped going to Akihabara for a while.
I got pissed whenever I saw an illustration by Nishimata Aoi. (Sorry, Ms. Nishimatawwwwww)
CanBadge kept sending me e-mails, but none of them showed any signs of concern for me, they all said stuff like this game is great and that anime character is moe.
It was exactly what we used to talk about in the park. I guess he just wanted to continue our otaku talk via e-mail. But I couldn’t help but think to myself “If he’s gonna send me e-mails, I wish he’d write about more than just anime and games.”.
101： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:45:40.39 ID:BeDcEal20
I originally became friends with CanBadge because I wanted an otaku friend.
But ever since I’d fallen in love with CanBadge, I wanted to talk more about CanBadge himself.
I don’t know how to put it. More than anime and stuff, I was interested in what he’d done that day, for example. Stuff like that.
Of course, I knew it was a hopeless case. I mean, the guy’s not interested in 3DPDwwwwww If it was just anime, I could talk to him anytime I wanted to. I knew that, but I was still sad.
Once, I asked CanBadge “What would you do if I quit being an otaku?”.
One of those typical female trap questionswwwww
He said “You quit being an otaku, you quit being friends with mewwwwww”.
He even sang “Auld Lang Syne” for me.
And he acted like he was crying.
I kicked him. Hard.
103： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:49:54.05 ID:DMEuIL23O
Don’t kick himwwww
104： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:50:02.01 ID:BeDcEal20
He laughed my kick off, but he was nice enough to add “But I’d be sad, I guess?” afterwards.
And “I’ve never had one of my otaku friends quit before, so I wouldn’t know thoughwwww” too.
We only wrote e-mails back and forth for a while until I stopped replying altogether because part of me wanted to forget about him for good.
But for some strange reason, the longer I didn’t see CanBadge, the more I ended up thinking about him.
Instead of forgetting him, it was almost like I kept falling more and more for him.
I honestly thought I couldn’t continue like that and even started going to group dates.
But no matter how handsome someone was, I couldn’t help but think that CanBadge was more handsome.
I was mature enough to know it wasn’t just a childish crush either. All that made me realize over and over again that my feelings for him were very serious.
106： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:52:41.45 ID:BeDcEal20
Since I couldn’t talk about it with my friends (I was still a closet otaku), I asked 2ch for advice a number of times until I realized it wasn’t a problem that could be solved with a piece of advice.
Soon, I got sick of worrying about it endlessly and was like “Fuck it! I’ll just confess my feelings to him!”.
I was fully aware that it wasn’t going to work out thoughwwwwww There’s no way I could win against Nerine.
108： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:56:35.74 ID:BeDcEal20
I went to Akihabara for the first time in weeks. I hadn’t been there since that day.
This time, I didn’t even feel like shopping, so I headed straight to the park to meet CanBadge.
“Ohh, haven’t seen you around for a while!”, Canbadge said and came running to me.
He asked “Are you here to shop?”. Before I knew it, I’d lied and said “Yeah”.
But none of this mattered because CanBadge had somehow turned into an extremely handsome lad.
No, no, his face was still that of Kucchi from Genshikenwwwwww But he’d turned into a fashionable version of Kucchi.
I asked him, “How come you look all dressed up today?”. He proudly showed me his new stylish outfit and said he got them from Gabrin.
109： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 14:58:01.74 ID:DMEuIL23O
Gabrin is backwwwww
110： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:00:26.39 ID:BeDcEal20
I was like “Who’s Gabrin?” at first, but then remembered it’s the clothing store manager I met first.
It seems like his store had to move and they had to get rid of some of the stock, which is why he was giving out clothes to his friends.
“This is the only set of clothes I got from him though.”, CanBadge said.
Apparently, it’s been his “going out” clothes ever since. Like it was his only good set of clothes.
“Wait, if you got only one set of clothes, do you even wash them?”
“I do. Once a week.”
But once a week is way too little if you’re gonna wear it everyday.
Actually, his clothes had already started to smell a little.
113： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:05:16.85 ID:BeDcEal20
To come right to the point, I couldn’t confess my love to him on that day.
Just when I was about to tell him, his friends from when we went to K-BOOKS came barging in. I couldn’t possibly confess with them around.
One of his friends said he lived in the same direction as me, so we took the same train on the way home.
He turned out to be a pretty old friend of CanBadge and seemed to know him very well too.
Thinking I could ask him for advice about CanBadge, I decided it’s worth a shot and asked him.
“Do you know if CanBadge is looking for a girlfriend?”
“No way. He’d break the rules if he didwwwww”
I was like “Rules? What rules?”
“We’re the founding members of the League of Voluntarily Single Gentlemen.”
114： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:06:47.34 ID:pMKcE9Qg0
League of Voluntarily Single Gentlemenwwwwwwwwwwww
115： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:09:26.54 ID:BeDcEal20
I wanted to scream “Why would you make a dumb league like that!!????”. I was this close to actually screaming it.
“Sounds like a very… unique league.”
“Ah, so please don’t introduce any girls to himwwww CanBadge is our leader after allwwwww”
“Does that mean you don’t have any girlfriend either?”
“Of course. So let me warn you. I’ll turn you down even if you ask me outwwwww I get asked out all the time because I’m richwwwww”
I thought to myself “Don’t you worry, I’d never go after someone like you!”, but I still felt dispirited.
Suddenly, my resolve had started to waver and I wasn’t so sure about confessing to him anymore.
118： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:14:26.08 ID:BeDcEal20
On my way home, I got an e-mail from CanBadge.
“Don’t forget your duty to report when you’ve safely made it back!”, it said.
“Duty to report, my foot!”, I thought at first, but eventually replied “I’m home.”. Apparently, he was worried whether his friends had all arrived at their homes safely.
Then he sent me an e-mail saying he was worried his friend might have said something weird to me as he tends to say whatever is on his mind. I remember thinking it’s the first time I got an e-mail from CanBadge that wasn’t about anime.
While I was at it, I figured I might as well ask him about their League of Voluntarily Single Gentlemen. I tried not to sound too serious though.
“The Prez must have made it upwwww”
↑ Apparently, the Prez is his friend’s nickname.
And he replied that he’s not a member of such a league.
Overjoyed at his reply, I decided to confess my feelings for him after all.
123： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:19:48.70 ID:BeDcEal20
On the following week, CanBadge wasn’t wearing his one good set of clothes anymore. He’d gone back to his usual dressing style.
I was a little disappointed as I’d been hoping he’d get used to dressing like that. But then again, I thought it wouldn’t be CanBadge anymore without his usual otaku outfit.
I was planning on confessing to him on that day, but I reckoned it was impossible to do it in that park. It was usually full of people and there was also the possibility that his friends might come again.
“Why don’t we go to a cafe or something, CanBadge?”
Without any hesitation, CanBadge picked up his tote bag and started walking.
I asked him where he’s headed and he said there was a place he wanted to show me. I admit I rejoiced a little.
But the place he wanted to show me turned out to be a maid cafe.
Confessing your love to someone at a maid cafe. Good idea? Or bad idea?
122： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:17:27.87 ID:JfuzZ3qW0
>>1 Could you tell us how old you and Canbadge were at that time?
127： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:26:49.32 ID:BeDcEal20
I don’t know how old CanBadge was, 25 or 26 maybe.
I was 21.
I normally prefer 2D girls from eroge, but I enjoyed going to the maid cafe and seeing actual cosplayers and maids for the first time. They were all pretty cute too.
One of the maids showed us to the counter. I didn’t get why CanBadge was going “Yesss, we got a seat at the counter!wwwww” though. (What’s good about sitting at the counter? I still don’t really get it.)
After ordering drinks, I asked CanBadge:
“So you’re not planning on getting a girlfriend all your life, CanBadge?”
“It’s fine if it’s what you want. I’d be a bit sad, is all.”
My heart was going to jump out of my chest and my hands were shaking uncontrollably.
You guys must be thinking “Are you a middle schooler or what!?wwwwww”.
129： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:29:50.45 ID:o0jPvmjX0
CanBadge: “Whoawww She’s totally fallen for mewwwww
I’mwwww so popularwwwwwwwwwww”
131： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:33:39.16 ID:BeDcEal20
I was actually considering a confession line that went like “I wanna be your Nerine! <3″.
There was no way I could say something dumb like that thoughwwwwww Still, I didn’t want it to sound too serious because I wanted to stay friends with CanBadge in case he turned me down.
Just when I’d said “CanBadge, I…”, the maid brought our drinks. But maybe she guessed what was going on because that was the only time she came over to us. And even then, she left right after she’d put down our drinks. I really appreciated her consideration.
Oh crap, I feel like crying just by remembering what happened and writing about itwwwww
“So, why would you be sad?”
It was the first time I confessed my love to someonewwwwww The first time in my lifewwwwww Oh boywwwwwwww
I hesitated for quite a while.
“…because I like you?”
“Why the hell did I say it like it was a question!!!??”, I thought to myself and regretted it like crazy. orz
132： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:34:27.78 ID:dkv8++7rO
139： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:40:25.70 ID:BeDcEal20
In my diary entry from that day, I scribbled “I hate question marks!!! I hate myself!!!!!” all over the pagewwwwww
I wished I could have just disappeared into thin air.
When I looked at CanBadge, he was staring back at me, flabbergasted.
He didn’t look embarrassed or shy. He seriously looked flabbergasted. Like he didn’t see it coming at all.
Seeing his reaction, I realized he hadn’t been aware of my feelings at all. orz
I was about to break down because one look at CanBadge swirling his straw around and saying “Ahahaha” even though he wasn’t laughing at all was enough to tell me that it wasn’t going to work out.
“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect you to date me now or something. I just want you to know that there are girls out there who are in love with you or might fall in love with you.”
“Look, I know Nerine is your number one. But who knows, maybe you like me second best after Nerine?”
I was digging my own grave, but I couldn’t stop.
140： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:40:35.03 ID:JfuzZ3qW0
This thread makes me grin like an idiotw
翻译君深夜翻文的时候根本冷静不下来 ;y=-( ﾟдﾟ)・∵砰
145： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:46:06.58 ID:BeDcEal20
“Found you, leader!”
said a voice from behind, slicing through the awkward atmosphere. When I looked around, it was the Prez and his crew. I think there were 4 of them that time.
“We were looking all over for you since you went AWOL, leader!”
“What are you doing here? You’re on duty!”
Japanese, motherfuckers, do you speak it? Well, I guess it is Japanese they were speaking, but for some reason, I never get what these people are talking about.
However, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the expression CanBadge had on his face at that moment.
He looked like his friends had just saved him.
He turned to his friends looking all relieved. Then he said “Sorry! I’ll be right there!” and stood up.
Grabbed the bill and left without even a word of farewell. No “See you” or “Bye”.
Seeing him leave as if he was running from me, I couldn’t hold it in anymore and started crying loudly.
147： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:47:43.75 ID:pMKcE9Qg0
Die, CanBadge! Go to hell!
161： 1 : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:58:10.63 ID:BeDcEal20
I cried a little on the train home. The woman sitting next to me was so nice to ask me if everything was alright, which cheered me up a little.
Actually, I cried quite a lot in the maid cafe after thatwwww I tried to keep my voice down so no one would notice it though.
The maid, who’d been staying away until then, came to me, said “Miss.” and handed me tissueswwwwww It made me want to switch sides and go lesbian… but I couldn’t. orz
162： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:00:15.42 ID:o0jPvmjX0
What a kind maidwwwwwwwwwwww
158： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:54:25.05 ID:IuIgaYEJO
I bet 3000 Nerine that CanBadge just doesn’t know anything about love and relationships yet and only notices his feelings for 1 after losing her.
160： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 15:55:40.38 ID:o0jPvmjX0
2580 Nerine that she somehow ends up with Gabrin at the end.
163： VIPPER : 2008/02/02(Sat) 16:02:58.10 ID:DMEuIL23O
I know it’s kinda late to point it out, but could it be that the Prez had already noticed that >>1 had fallen in love with CanBadge?
10 Nerine that we get a surprising Prez end.