Anime Maru is a regularly-updating online publication that is dedicated to bringing you up-to-date news and commentary about the anime industry.
Selected ones (Edited)
08/23/16: Japan Assures Rest of World They Aren’t Really That Into Anime or Anything
“What? We just took a picture of a building and that happened to be on it”
The closing ceremonies for the 2016 Summer Olympics were staged recently, and according to Olympic tradition, a segment from the organizers of the next Summer Olympics was shown. The organizers for Tokyo 2020 showed a promotional video featuring athletes in stereotypical scenes in Tokyo juxtaposed with homages to contemporary Japanese culture. Besides Prime Minister appearing as Mario, the segment also included clips from Captain Tsubasa and Doraemon.
“Anime? Yeah we’ve seen stuff like Cowboy Bebop but we wouldn’t call ourselves anime fans,” spokesperson told the media Monday evening. He stressed that Tokyo is prepared to host the 2020 Olympics, and that the city offers world-class facilities, modern infrastructure, and perfectly normal hobbies like reading and watching movies.
“Tokyo, and Japan as a whole, is known for many things; we will proudly show that when the Olympics come. Things like the Sky Tree, sushi, temples, Mount Fuji, and uhhh… Pokemon?”
He abruptly ended the press conference and hurried from the stage when a reporter from the Los Angeles Times pointed out that he forgot to take off his Naruto headband. An official statement released later by the Japanese Olympic Committee confirmed that they casually follow anime, but “not in a weird way, you know.” At press time, Japanese officials were seeing trying to hide the nation’s collection of 61 million anime figures and 2.3 million dakimakura.
09/23/16:‘Food Wars’ Inspires Otaku to Create Various Food Abominations
“I usually just eat instant ramen all day, but [Food Wars] inspired me to try making food myself,” Evan Stillman, 24, tells Anime Maru. “Food Wars taught me to be creative and fearless when cooking. So even though I didn’t really know what I was doing, my peanut butter and halibut Doritos souffle came out of the microwave wonderfully. It was physically glowing, just like food in the show. it can’t go wrong. It’s all about creativity. I just knew I could do it, too.””
“Shokugeki no Souma is an incredible anime because it really inspired me to chase my dream,” Erickson tells Anime Maru while standing over what appeared to be a lobster stuffed into a baby cow.
Erickson is an anime fan that was so inspired by the show that despite no cooking experience, who quited his software development job to pursue his dream of opening a restaurant. As of press time, it has been praised by Food Network as “the capital of Flavortown”, specifically praising the Raisin Bran and Bologna Ratatouille paired with past expiration date apple juice.
09/15/16: Kyoto Animation Completes Machine that Turns Yuribait into Money
For years now, we’ve watched the trial and tribulations of famed studio Kyoto Animation as they struggle to make an anime that sells enough to compensate for the tremendous budget they allocate to their shows; notable flops in DVD sales have included Nichijou and Tamako Market. We’ve seen glimpses, however, of KyoAni’s ultimate plan. From the close “friendship” between Nibutani Shinka and Dekomori Sanae in Chuunibyou or the power dominance Kawakami Mei had over Izumi Reina in Musaigen no Phantom World, we’ve seen what KyoAni finally intends to reveal this upcoming Fall season.
名声响亮的京阿尼年复一年地挣扎着要创作出一部卖座动画：读者们一定还记得”日常”和”玉子市场”的惨淡销量；只有DVD碟片被抢购一空，才能解决动画制作所投入的庞大预算赤字。不过，最近他们终于拿出了杀手锏。从” 中二病也要谈恋爱！”中森夏和早苗亲密的“友谊”，抑或是” 无彩限的怪灵世界” 里舞对玲奈支配性的关系，我们得以对今年秋番京阿尼究竟在打什么算盘初窥端倪。
“All it takes nowadays is for us to hint that some muff-munching is in the back of the minds of our characters and weebs will buy that shit up.” This comes from Ishihara Tatsuya, the series’ director.
“We found that young lesbian love is a much more powerful tool for getting people to buy DVD’s than normal love, it just took a bit of experimenting for us to figure it out,” Ishihara laughs. “Why were we so focused on a heterosexual romance in stuff like Amagi Brilliant Park? It’s not like the guys who buy our DVD’s have any chances at getting a girlfriend!”
09/29/16: New Light Novel Consists Entirely of One Long Title
Dengeki Bunko announced earlier this week the publication of the first light novel in which the entire content is contained within the title. The light novel will be published entirely on glossy cover paper, with each page featuring the same picture of the female lead alongside lime green text with a section of the novel’s title. While we are not allowed to publish the entire title for both copyright and article length reasons, the first 10 pages of the title in English are:
“My Life Is Just As Wrong As I Expected After Traveling to Another World Where I’m Surrounded By Cute Girls At A Magical High School And Am Also The Fabled Hero of Legend, But Before I Tell You That Story I Have To Tell You This Story, In Which I Was Walking Along With My Unbelievably, Impossibly Cute Younger Sister Who Doesn’t Like Me At All, And She Said To Me It Was My Fault She Wasn’t Popular No Matter How She Looked At It As We Walked To School Together, And We Stopped To Look At A Garden, Which Had A Flower Whose Name I Don’t Remember, When Suddenly A Portal Opened Up To Another World And When I Landed In A Field And My Face Was Buried In The Largest Pair of Boobs I’d Ever Seen, And My Sister Hit Me And Called Me An Idiot While Blushing, But Then The Girl I Landed On Saw The Birthmark On My Hand And Gasped And She Grabbed My Hand And I Blushed But She Started Dragging Me Away And My Sister Got Mad And Chased After Us And I Asked Where We Were Going, And She Said She Was Taking Us To Grimheart Magic School, Where She Was The School President, And Then I Gasped Because I Was Now In A Magical World, And When We Got To The School Which Was A Giant Castle I Asked The Girl What Her Name Was And She Said It Was Akane Yuusha, Which I Thought Was A Tad Strange Since She Had Blonde Hair And Blue Eyes And The Entire Aesthetic Of The School Seemed Very Ancient European, But I Forgot About All Of That When She Told Me We Needed To See The Headmaster Because She Had Been Taught That The Mark On My Hand Was The Symbol Of The Reincarnation Of The Legendary Dragon Hero Of Legendary Literature, And I Said That Was A Cool Thing To Be Taught Because At Our School The Only Book We Learned Was Atlas Shrugged, And She Asked What That Was And I Told Her I Was The Book Our Society Based Its Philosophy On A Speech From, And She Asked Me To Recite The Speech, Which I Did, And The Speech Went “For Twelve Years You Have Been Asking…
Reportedly, Akiyuki Shinbo is already in talks to purchase the anime rights to the story and adapt it into a series told entirely through anime OPs.
07/06/16: Loli Bullying at an All-Time High
Though instances of loli bullying go back to the early 2000’s, it wasn’t until recently that loli bullying became popular with shows like Bakemonogatari and Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai! It was the 2016 spring season’s Kuma Miko: Girl Meets Bear, however, where the sport of loli bullying really found its stride towards becoming a staple in any slice of life anime.
But for most people, like your average Anime Maru reader, it’s probably best to remember that you will never have a qt anime loli waifu to bully. Ever.
(Read more @ http://www.animemaru.com/
特别感谢kevo @ Anime Maru的翻译与转载许可。
Ok, for liability reasons, I have to come clean. Anime Maru is a satirical publication. Nothing on this site should be interpreted as factual nor as a claim to fact. Content is not reflective of opinions held by the staff of Anime Maru. Content is not intended for readers under the age of 18. In conclusion, Anime Maru is fake anime news. If any of this is a surprise to you, I recommend speaking to your mother. She has something to tell you about the tooth fairy.
好吧，我老实交代，Anime Maru是个讽刺新闻网站。站上所有的新闻都不该被看作事实，也不该被视作网站成员的观点，网站的使用者最好已经成年。你没看错，Anime Maru编造动画新闻。读到这儿，如果觉得震惊不已，我建议你去找妈妈聊聊，她挺乐意给你讲讲小牙仙的故事。
Anime Maru Staff (II)
彩蛋：Anime Maru成员 (二)
Bob_Squob is neither a Bob nor a Squob, but they’re both common enough names to form an alias. After roaming the earth for 10,000 years with no purpose, he came upon Anime Maru, and thought to himself, “It is good. I will make my home here.” He currently resides in the darkness for fear that his taste in anime will be discovered and exploited as a weakness. Twitter: @Bob_Squob
Having been sentenced on 3 separate occasions to commit honorable sudoku after various incidents involving lava lamps and body pillows, Steve sought sanctum against the legions of radical Haruhiists he’d enraged. He fled to a lesser-known corner of our solar system where he happened to find some free wifi and an artisan bakery that appealed to his hipster tastes.
经历了关于熔岩灯和抱枕等一系列事故后，Steve被接连三次判处了解谜数独直到最后的荣誉死刑（日文梗：数独Sudoku & 切腹Seppuku）。因为惹怒了声势浩大的激进派凉宫教教众，Steve边寻找着躲避他们的圣地，边逃到了太阳系某个无人知晓的角落里。庆幸的是，那里有可以蹭的Wi-Fi和满足他非主流口味的高级烘焙。
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