21Aug

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

时间: 2016-8-21 分类: 二次元频道, 每日一笑 作者: 涸欢

TAGS:

语言:   大陆 港澳 台湾

引用元:http://www.animemaru.com/


 

Anime Maru is a regularly-updating online publication that is dedicated to bringing you up-to-date news and commentary about the anime industry.

Anime Maru是一个定期更新的在线网站,我们会带给你动画界最新的消息和评论。

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

Selected ones (Edited)

精选新闻

 


 

追求后宫男子孤注一掷自杀身亡

08/01/16: Man Commits Suicide in Desperate Ploy to Achieve Harem

http://www.animemaru.com/man-commits-suicide-in-desperate-ploy-to-achieve-harem/

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

by Dango_Ramen

 

Close friends reported that he always dreamed of having his own harem held in the same high esteem as that of Nisekoi. Barbano’s death was revealed to be a directly influenced by the currently airing anime Re:Zero. Barbano’s suicide note explains, “Re:Zero was always just a ploy to get all the girls. But after years of failure, anything is worth a try.”

Barbano的好友告诉记者,他一直幻想拥有“伪恋”那样属于自己的后宫。而最终调查人员发现,他的死亡深受正在放映的动画Re:0的影响。Barbano在遗书中写道:“Re:0里昴一次次重生,讨得了个个女孩的欢心。即使可能性再小,我也要试试这种方法。这么多年我经历的失败够多了。”

 

It appeared that Barbano did indeed have a girlfriend but continuously failed to expand the female count beyond one. “They would always break up with me before I could get to two. They alleged it was ‘cheating’”. Barbano lamented in his letter, each word heavy with a drawn out angst. Barbano ended his letter with hopeful thoughts: “I can’t help but hope that it’ll be me. Even though I’m far too old for it and avoid helping people as much as I can, the world might just choose me to be the one who gets to live again and again.”

事实上,Barbano并非没有女朋友。但他一直试图同时和多个女孩交往,均以失败告终。“一旦我同时和两个女孩交往,她们总要和我闹分手,还骂我劈腿骂得特别难听。” Barbano在遗书里声泪俱下。遗书的末尾却充满希望:“我忍不住去想那个人可能是我。即使我已经成年,即使我并不乐于助人,这个世界仍有可能选择了我,成为那个一次一次轮回重生的主人公。”

 

The funeral was held earlier this week, where Barbano’s body was cremated with no signs of return.

Barbano的葬礼在本周早些时候举行,但尸体火化后,目前为止并无任何重生的痕迹。

 


 

Pokemon Go诱使茧居族走出地下室

07/08/16: Otaku Tricked Out of Basement by Pokemon Go

http://www.animemaru.com/otaku-tricked-out-of-basement-by-pokemon-go/

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

by TruthlessJere

 

Chris Smith’s breath forms clouds in the cold Welsh air as he walks down a rocky path near his home. He pulls his jacket up closer to his shoulders, his face squinting in the warm and unfamiliar light from the morning sun. He is on the search for Pokemon.

Chris Smith走在家附近的碎石小径上,他的呼吸在威尔士冰冷的空气里凝成了白雾。他拉了拉夹克盖住肩膀,稍稍眯起眼缝,看起来早晨温暖的阳光稍稍有些陌生。他正在搜寻口袋妖怪的路上。

 

Around the world, thousands of otaku leave the comfort and aroma of their basement lair and step outside for the first time in years. All in the hunt for Pokemon. The new phone game encourages players to move around and take an interest in the world around them by bridging the dull world of the disillusioned otaku with the world of Pokemon – an ideal world without difficulties, and with good waifu that you can capture and raise for your own.

全世界难以计数的茧居族走出他们舒适芬芳的地下室,数年内第一次离开家。这都是为了捉住口袋妖怪。这款新的手机游戏鼓励大家四处奔跑,关注自己周围的世界。Pokemon Go在otaku不抱期待的无聊世界和口袋妖怪的理想世界之间架起了桥梁,而后者正是一个没有困难的美丽地方,有着太多可爱的“俺の嫁”可以捕捉、饲养,他们都是你一个人的。

 

In other news, announcements have come from both Bandai and Nintendo that other apps are now in the works: Digimon: Move Around and Partake in Life! and Yo-Kai: Get Out There. In the announcement of these two games, were quick to claim that neither held any relation, or was a response to, Pokemon Go.

另一方面,Bandai和Nintendo的消息表明新的应用游戏像“数码宝贝:行动!体验生活!”(Digimon: Move Around and Partake in Life!)、“妖怪手表:走出去”(Yo-Kai: Get Out There)正在测试当中。制作公司还迅速声明这两款游戏和Pokemon Go并无任何联系。

 


 

因乐队解散“吹响吧!上低音号”第二季制作取消

08/16/16: Hibike! Euphonium Season Two Canceled due to Band Breakup

http://www.animemaru.com/hibike-euphonium-season-two-canceled-due-to-band-breakup/

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

by Slapdash Scott

 

kyoFans were understandably shocked and upset to hear that not only was the anime being cancelled, but the band was breaking up. On twitter the band’s director Noboru Taki stated that “Unfortunately the girls have been drifting apart for some time.” Taki went on to explain that the band had been planning to stay together at least through the production of the second season; however, tensions dramatically rose after Sapphire criticized Kumiko’s musical talent and Reina responded by trying to gouge out Sapphire’s eyes with a rusty guitar pick. Since then there has been little communication between the members of the band.

记者完全能够理解,京都粉听到这消息时有多震惊和沮丧:不仅动画的制作被取消了,甚至连乐队也解散了。管乐团的顾问泷昇在推特上承认“女孩们分道扬镳已经有一阵子了”。他解释说按预定这件事至少在第二季拍摄完成前都不会发生。但是,当Sapphire开始指责久美子毫无音乐天赋之后乐团的气氛顿时剑拔弩张;丽奈报复性地想把生锈的吉他拨片捣进Sapphire的眼睛里。从那开始乐队成员间的交流就几乎断绝了。

 

Unfortunately, there is little reason to believe the situation will change, as this story seems to be par for the course when it comes to Kyoto Ani’s music anime. K-ON!! infamously lost its planned college season after Mio finally got tired of Mugi’s desert thievery and broke her bass over her head and the simple inclusion of a concert scene in The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya erased its author from existence.

令人沮丧的是,这种状况改善的可能性很小,就和京都之前的那些音乐动画一样。Mio终于对Mugi持续偷沙的行为忍无可忍,把贝斯狠狠砸在了她的头上,这使得K-ON!大学篇的制作计划偏离预期而备受指责;而“凉宫春日的忧郁”中仅仅一场演唱会甚至还抹消了其作者的存在。

 


 

“守护俺の嫁的笑容”保险费率疯狂上涨

08/12/16: Waifu Smile Protection Insurance Rates Skyrocket

http://www.animemaru.com/waifu-smile-protection-insurance-rates-skyrocket/

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

by CuppaSteve

 

“Everything was going great around the start of last season, we had been building a steady consumer base. Then the recent episodes of Re:Zero started airing… Thousands of insurance claims on Ram… Millions on Rem… We sunk underwater fast. We had no choice but to raise our rates, unfortunately.”

“直到上一季度为止事情还好好的,我们还拥有着稳定的顾客群体。可是说到最近放映的Re: 0新章,拉姆有数万的保险索赔,蕾姆的索赔金额更是上亿。公司效益每况愈下。我们别无选择,只得提高保险费率。”

 

AniShield isn’t the only company that’s been experiencing financial troubles. Between more violent shows like Re:Zero or the recent ending of the Nisekoi manga and other harem stories, smiles have been more difficult for organizations to insure. Facing a massive amount of claims, many companies went into complete bankruptcy and went under. The remaining companies have had to raise their rates by exponential rate.

动画守护者并不是唯一一家陷入财务危机的公司。在Re: 0这样竞争激烈的剧集或是像刚结局的漫画“伪恋”这样的后宫故事中,女孩们的笑容越来越难以守护。面对庞大的索赔金额,许多保险公司面临破产,其余那些则不得不爆炸式地提高他们的保险费率。

 


 

国立卫生研究院批准魔物娘项目的资金请求

08/09/2016: NIH Approves Funding for Creation of Monster Girls

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

http://www.animemaru.com/nih-approves-funding-for-creation-of-monster-girls/

By Fluffy Harpy

 

“Since the dawn of human civilization man has depicted human-animal hybrids in our myths, religions, and even pop culture. Even just 30 years ago men dreamed of women with cat ears whose cries of ‘Nyah warmed our hearts and made us ask ourselves “Could such a perfect thing ever exist in reality?,” NIH Director told dumbfounded reporters.

“从人类文明早期至今,神话、宗教、流行文化里都充斥着关于人和动物杂交体的描绘。比如,男性最近30年来都梦想着被猫耳女孩的叫声温暖心房。不禁让我们憧憬,这种完美的生物可以在现实中存在该有多好!”国立卫生研究院的院长这样告诉瞠目结舌的记者。

 

“Indeed today marks the beginning of a new monster girl filled era for us all!” He passionately announced while holding a pillow bearing the likeness of the lamia Miia close to his chest.

“今天标志着魔物娘领域新纪元的开始!”院长激动地宣告道,手上胸口附近的枕头有类似人蛇族米娅的图案。

 


 

(Read more @ http://www.animemaru.com/

在http://www.animemaru.com/ 这里读到更详细的报道!)

特别感谢kevo @ Anime Maru的翻译与转载许可。

 

Ok, for liability reasons, I have to come clean. Anime Maru is a satirical publication. Nothing on this site should be interpreted as factual nor as a claim to fact. Content is not reflective of opinions held by the staff of Anime Maru. Content is not intended for readers under the age of 18. In conclusion, Anime Maru is fake anime news. If any of this is a surprise to you, I recommend speaking to your mother. She has something to tell you about the tooth fairy.

好吧,我老实交代,Anime Maru是个讽刺新闻网站。站上所有的新闻都不该被看作事实,也不该被视作工作人员的观点,网站的使用者最好已经成年。你没看错,Anime Maru编造动画新闻。读到这儿,如果觉得震惊不已,我建议你去找妈妈聊聊,她挺乐意给你讲讲小牙仙的故事。

 

Anime Maru Staff (I)

彩蛋:Anime Maru成员 (一)

kevo

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

http://en.gravatar.com/z3ugmatic

Editor-in-Chief, CEO, and Fearless Leader of Anime Maru. He was trained by the North Korean People’s Institute of Journalism and Media. Like any true anime fan, kevo follows voice actresses on Twitter and pretends to understand their Japanese tweets. Twitter: @kevo31415

kevo出身于朝鲜国家新闻和媒体中心,现在是Anime Maru的总编辑、经理以及无所畏惧的领导者。像所有真正的动画粉一样,kevo在推特上关注各位声优,装作看得懂她们推文的样子。推特账号:@kevo31415

 

Actene

Anime Maru:带给你动画界最新的消息和评论

http://en.gravatar.com/actene

The first thing Actene did upon being given a computer of his own was start watching the dirty Japanese cartoons he had heard so much about, far from the prying eyes of his family so as not to be written out of the will. After joining the military in the hopes of becoming an anime protagonist, he was horrified to learn that the army was just like the internet in that everyone’s taste in anime was shit. The only thing he likes more than watching anime is complaining about anime.

Actene得到个人电脑后的第一件事就是观看小伙伴们一直热衷讨论的和谐日本动画。他一边还得小心翼翼地躲着好管事的家长,避免自己从遗产继承名单中被除名。抱持着成为动画主人公的希望参军之后,他却惊恐地发现军队和网络一样对动画的鉴赏一塌糊涂。当然他最大的爱好是看动画,不过他更喜欢批判一番。

 

 


这是一期新的企划,如果大家喜欢的话我会试着继续这个话题。如果很多人都对某则简讯感兴趣的话,请在下面留言,说不定之后会完整翻译出来。

 

希望LA可以看到“君の名は。(Your name.)”~ 呜啪呜啪


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涸欢

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Comments
已有 14 条评论 新浪微博
  1. 水千户

    哈哈哈这个不错,可以的。

    2016年8月24日 19:04来自移动端 回复
  2. 匿名

    我差点就信了。。。

    2016年8月23日 20:46 回复
  3. mio砸貝斯,這是重金屬的節奏!

    2016年8月23日 14:48来自移动端 回复
  4. masakitenchi

    你们啊,不要想搞个大新闻

    2016年8月22日 14:18来自移动端 回复
  5. 匿名

    看到第三个意识到了是假的…

    2016年8月22日 01:53来自移动端1 回复
  6. 匿名

    第二个开始就有点扯了 。当我看到守护笑容的保险公司的时候我才意识到这个是编造出来的。(我是不是很智障

    2016年8月22日 00:322 回复
  7. peanutmilk

    有点洋葱新闻的味道233

    2016年8月21日 23:42来自移动端2 回复
    • peanutmilk

      还有  这个超赞的

      2016年8月21日 23:43来自移动端1 回复
      • 涸欢

        这个有点意思

        2016年8月22日 00:12 回复
  8. acgn界的洋葱

    2016年8月21日 23:421 回复
  9. 匿名

    几个消息都给人不同的情绪,不知怎评论好了。

    2016年8月21日 23:41来自移动端3 回复
  10. CupcakeWOW

    staff的個人描述有點迷(笑

    2016年8月21日 22:381 回复
  11. 匿名

    好评好评!!

    2016年8月21日 20:56 回复
  12. Scathach

    魔物娘啊哈哈哈哈

    2016年8月21日 19:47来自移动端1 回复
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