17May

『中篇故事・4chan』我为艾拉唱首歌(三)

时间: 2016-5-17 分类: 我为艾拉唱首歌 作者: Skylark

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语言:   大陆 港澳 台湾

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Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:22:19 No. 595592891

>after the economy class

经济学课后

>i wished him luck and we parted ways

我祝皮特好运,并且和他走不同的路

>an hour later he found me

一个小时之后,他找到我

>i asked him

我问他

>”how did it go?”

“进展如何?”

>”i dunno man… i really dunno. i mean, i might as well done great or fucked it up completely”

“我不知道,我真的不知道啊,我是说,我也许做得很好,或者彻底搞砸了”

>”why?”

“为什么这么说?”

>”look, we talked about fashion for an hour”

“我们聊了大概一小时的时尚”

>”so, you talked for an hour, thats great man!” – damn we were beta fags

“所以你们聊了一小时,这太棒了啊!” 我去,我们真的是预备基佬了啊。

>”yeah, but what if she thinks that im gay?”

“的确,但是万一她觉得我是基佬怎么办?”

>i started laughing pete had a point, straight guys dont usually talk about fashion

我开始笑皮特有道理,直男并不经常讨论时尚

>certainly not about womens fashion

尤其不关乎女性的时尚

>suddenly, ella comes out of nowhere

突然,艾拉冒了出来

>i froze

我僵住了

>pete looked at me and understood that ella was coming our way

皮特看了看我,明白了艾拉向我们走来

>”hey pete!”

“皮特!”

>and i heard ella’s voice for the first time

这是我第一次听到艾拉的声音

>she had a crackly. deep voice

她有清脆而深邃的嗓音

>kmda reminds me of scarlett johansson now…

让我想起斯嘉丽·约翰逊

>a lot of people dont think that kinda voice is flattering

很多人不认为那样的嗓音妩媚

>but if you found me a soprano that sings agnus dei

但是如果你发现我听到一位女高音唱着圣歌

>i would have told you “shut that woman up and let ella sing”

我会告诉你,“让那个女人闭嘴,并让艾拉唱。”

>”hey ella!” – said pete, his heart probably skipping a couple of beats

“你好艾拉。”皮特说,他的心也许跳漏了几拍

>”i remembered now… i got it from Anthropologie…”

“我想起来了,我是从店里买的”(Anthropologie 是UrbanOutfitters旗下的一个经营服装珠宝家居用品等产品的牌子)

>i have absolutely no idea what shes talking about

我完全不明白她在说什么

>”oh thanks!”

“多谢你啦”

>”dont mention it… its from last season tho, i dont think you could buy it for your sister, but they might have something similar…”

“别客气,我是在上一季买的,我觉得你没法为你的妹妹买到,但是也许有些类似的东西……”

>”oh.. well, thank you for telling me ella!”

“哦!感谢你告诉我这些艾拉”

>”youre welcome, see you around pete!”

“不用谢,再见啦皮特”

>”see you ella!”

“再见艾拉”

>and we watched ella walking away from us gracefuly. until she disappeared in the distance

我们目送着艾拉优雅地离开,直到她在远处消失

>still looking at her general direction, as if we could still see her

我仍然注视着艾拉离开的方向就好像我仍然能看见她似的

>”dude… your sister is 7…”

“哥们儿,我记得你妹妹才7岁吧…”

>”yeah i know…”

“我知道…”

>”she is…”

“她实在是…”

>”yeah i know… magnificent…”

“我明白……太优雅了”

 

Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:22:49 No. 595592970

>a week later, pete had another idea

一周之后,皮特有了另外一个点子

>in order to not look like a gay couple

为了让我们看起来不像情侣

>he suggested that we develop this “manly handshake”

他建议我们练习“男人一般的握手”

>and establish that we are in fact, bros

并且表明我们事实上只是兄弟

>like a bunch of idiots, we stayed up all night

就像一些白痴,我们通宵练习

>working out this complex yet subtle (or so we thought) secret handshake

来掌握这个复杂且微妙的(我们如是认为的)隐秘的握手

>our stupidity was at an immeasurable new height

我们又蠢出了新高度

>pete was chatting up ella. little by little everyday

皮特开始每天都一点点地与艾拉聊天

>but he was afraid of becoming a gay bff and lose all chance of dating her

但是他害怕成为她的gay蜜而失去约她的机会

>so he requested me to approach them tomorrow at some point mid conversation

所以他要求我明天在他们谈话的过程中靠近他们

>and “apply” the handshake

并且“使用”握手

>ok then

我答应了

>after our economy class

在我们经济学课后

>i gave pete some time

我稍微等了皮特一会

>then joined them in the cafetena

然后进入食堂参与他们的讨论

>as i approached them, pete saw me coming

在我接近的过程中,皮特看见我走过来

>excused himself like a true boss gentleman

我像真的总裁一样打断他们

>and we started acting out this ridiculous handshake in unison

我们开始同时表演这个愚蠢的握手

>i mean it was absolute bullshit

我觉着这就是一坨屎

>hands and Fingers everywhere clicking and fist bumping and doing other various stuff

手掌与手指到处指指点点,碰拳头,又做了各种各样的事情

>it was like the douchebag version of cirque du soleil

这让我觉得我就是一个弱智的小丑 (cirque du soleil是太阳马戏团,加拿大规模最大的一个马戏团,意译)

>halfway thru (yeah it was that long it almost needed an interlude) ella starts laughing her ass off

进行到一半的时候(是的,这个握手太长,需要一些小插曲)艾拉开始爆笑不止

>she was laughing like a crazy person

她笑得像一个疯子

>we freeze

我们都僵住了

>the blood drains away from pete’s face

皮特变得面无血色

>pale as fuck

无比苍白

>we realize that we just fucked up

我们明白我们搞砸了

>we fucked up immensely

我们完完全全地搞砸了

>and we force ourselves to turn and face ella

我们迫使我们自己转身面向艾拉

>she’s trying to silence herself, still laughing

她试图让自己静下来,但是仍然在笑

>pete and i still holding hands like fucktards

皮特和我仍然握着手就好像两只傻X

>she tries to apologize for laughing

她试图为她的笑而道歉

>but then she starts laughing even louder

但是过了会儿她笑得更欢了

>we look around and hope that no other person has acknowledged how dumb we look fortunately no one other than ella is laughing

我们环顾四周并且希望没有别人发现我们看起来多蠢,幸运的是,除了艾拉没有人在笑

>but ella is still laughing

但是艾拉还在笑

 

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Skylark

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Comments
已有 6 条评论 新浪微博
  1. 断夜归梦

    没有了么???好期待下文

    2016年7月1日 10:28 回复
  2. ringo

    好好的直男说弯就弯www

    2016年5月18日 10:22来自iPhone 回复
  3. 777

    这绝对是基佬吧Σ(゚Д゚)

    2016年5月18日 06:14来自移动端 回复
  4. 脑残粉

    到底想搞姬还是搞基,搞得我好乱啊

    2016年5月17日 23:24来自移动端 回复
  5. CupcakeWOW

    這基佬有夠努力

    2016年5月17日 22:38 回复
  6. lu

    抱歉=_=。。刚刚没注意不小心点了禁止评论

    2016年5月17日 21:111 回复
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