『中篇故事・4chan』我为艾拉唱首歌（二）
Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:20:45 No. 595592636 Replies: >>595626016
>and i thought he had found “her”
我以为他找到的是“她”
>but when i saw what he found, which was this i dunno what brand skirt on amazon
但是当我去看他找到了什么，那是一条在亚马逊上出售的我不知道牌子的短裙
>i was far from being disappointed
然是我并没有失望。
>i was feeling the same way
我和皮特的感觉一样
>we didnt know her name, but fuck if we didnt know what skirt she was wearing
我们不知道她的名字，但是，
>pete kept going with the search and i helped him
皮特继续搜索，我从旁协助
>at the end of the night, we knew what flats she was wearing. what shirt
那个晚上我们最后知道了她穿的是什么鞋子，什么衬衫
>we even knew what brand her red, bow shaped hairclip was
我们甚至知道了她的红色弓形发卡的牌子
>i mean… look, we are straight guys
我是说……嘿，我们是直男
>i figure im a 7/10 maybe 8, pete is an easy 8/10, pushing 9
我觉得我是7分或者8分，皮特保8追9
>we are both fit. we dont have ugly pimples on our faces or anything, we are both very decent
我们身材都很好，我们的脸上没有丑陋的粉刺或者其他什么，我们看起来都十分得体
>we are not short or chubby
我们既不矮也不胖
>and altho we were not the most popular kids in highschool, we are definitely not social castouts either
尽管我们不是在高中最受欢迎的男神，但是我们也绝非是那种不合群的人
>but that night
但是在那个晚上
>we were more gay than a male fashion design student wearing pink dungarees and coming out of the closet singing YMCA
我们比一个学时尚设计，穿着粉色工装服宣布出柜并且唱着同志之歌的男人更基
>and we knew what skirt she was wearing… so yeah…
而且我们知道了她穿的是什么裙子，所以……
>and before we went to sleep
而在我们睡觉之前
>pete had an idea
皮特有了一个主意
>that motherfucker had the most excellent idea
那个混蛋有一个天才般的想法
>he knew he needed an extra something if he was ever gonna talk to her
他知道如果他想同她说话的话，他需要一些额外的东西
>let alone date her
同她约会
>so he decided he should start learning about fashion
所以他决定快开始学习时尚
>and use his knowledge as a conversation starter
并且以他的知识开启交流
>meanwhile, i was feeling like i could go to mars with a new apollo mission
同时我觉得我应该肩负着一个新的阿波罗计划前往火星
>or save the world from a new nazi regime all by myself
或者由我一个人将世界从一个新的纳粹政权拯救出来
>and still wouldnt be able to impress her
并且仍然不能够给她留下印象
>i was a hopeless faggot
我就是一个无望的基佬
Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:21:58 No. 595592833
>next morning, the first thing pete did was to enroll in a class on fashion design
第二天早上皮特干得第一件事就是注册了一门一门时尚设计的课
>pete didnt know if his tactics were gonna work
皮特不知道他的策略是否会奏效
>pete didnt know if this magnificent creature would speak fashion with him
皮特不知道这个高贵华丽的女人是否会同他谈论时尚
>but he had hopes
但是他抱有希望
>meanwhile. we were both unable to speak to her
同时，我们都不能够同她说话
>we were a bunch of beta fags, scared out of our minds
我们就是一群预备基佬，心中十分恐惧
>but we learned her name from a fnend
但是我们从一个朋友口中得知了她的名字
>ella
艾拉
>ella was her name…
她叫艾拉
>pete didnt want to waste his chances in leaving a perfect first impression with ella
皮特不想浪费给艾拉留下完美的第一印象的机会
>well. the first impression both of us have left was us standing in the middle of the hallway
但是我们留给艾拉的第一印象都是傻站在过道的中间
>staring at her like we were retarded perverts
盯着他看的两个智障变态
>but speaking to her was a different matter altogether
但是同她说话又是另外一件事情
>i figured, if pete had no chance of talking to her now
我推测，如果皮特现在都没有机会同她说话
>how could i?
我自己又是何德何能
>besides. pete was so in da zone, i didnt want to compete
况且现在皮特又是， 我不想同他争
>not that i could, or so i believed…
我是不能那样做，或者我就是这样想的
>fast forward a couple of weeks
几周之后
>pete as a freshman knew more about fashion than seniors knew about economy in our department
在我们公寓里，皮特作为一个新人所了解的时尚，已经其他毕业班学生所懂的经济还要多了。
>he was spending his nights browsing fashion blogs
他整晚都在时尚博客上泡着
>every night, he would come to our room, with a list of items she was wearing that day
每天晚上，他都会带着一张今天艾拉穿了什么的表来到我们房间
>studying her taste in fashion
学习他对于时尚的品味
>pete told me that this could actually work
皮特告诉我，这些真的会奏效
>since while a lot of the girls on campus dressed like trailer trashes
因为那时候很多在校女生穿得都像
>ella was always amazing in her choice of clothes
艾拉选择的服饰总是让人觉得惊艳
>our room was filled with editions of vogue and GQ and shit
我们的房间充满了各种各样的时尚杂志
>couple of friends have seen our stash of fashion magazines
有些朋友已经见过我们收藏品
>and joked about it
并且以此开玩笑
>so we made a lousy explanation of how they were “quality tapping material”
所以我们下流地解释说，这些都是“用来撸的好材料”
>and got away with it
并且以此脱身
>one day, pete woke up and turned to me
有一天，皮特醒来并且转向我
>I’m ready” – he said
我准备好了，他说
>like neo saying “i know kung-fu”
就像黑客帝国里面的尼奥说，我会功夫一样
>i said “show her”
我说，给她看看吧(这里也是黑客帝国的neta
>anyways
不管怎样
>pete decided that whatever she’s wearing that day
皮特觉得，无论她今天穿的是什么
>he felt like he could intelligently talk to her about her clothes
他觉得他可以睿智地同她谈论她的衣服
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本文作者: Skylark
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